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Another opportunity gone down the drain. January 25, 2012

Posted by itsmeaditya in Uncategorized.

Well, things have been actually really down lately. I am so sorry to my readers ( if they exist), I really am, I got lot to talk but no one to talk to, and thats why I made this blog. Hi I am Aditya a 19 year old boy, struggling like everyone else to know who he is, what he is,  I got a lot of questions and no answers, they say nice guys finish last, I think thats true.

Anyway, so around 2 weeks back I fell down the stairs of my hostel,  and I broke my ankle, plaster for 3 weeks, its fine, some cared some didnt, not a problem. Okay so here is the thing, I like a girl, its more than that, and the crush is from my side, I mean come on who will like me, yes I have some issues, but no one actually knows it, so I asked this girl if she wants to leave a message on plaster, everyone does that right, but this girl, she is like ‘Nope’. Thats all she said, and I felt bad, I have been feeling bad, but again its fine. I see my friends, class mates, college mates, everyone getting a lot of opportunities, everyone doing a lot of things, some are getting committed, and I see their happy faces, its kinda gay, but it is good. Few of my closest friends are doing really good, one of them is becoming responsible, feels good to know that, another one is going out to different colleges, winning, feels good, but after sometime, when I close my eyes I see me, its all black and I am standing under a spotlight. Blank expressions, nothing, and I feel nothing, and then I think, I got everything, but I dont have anything. I just want to feel how it feels to be victorious, how it feels when people look up to you, and I have been trying my best to do that, but something or the other, BAM, stops me. This time something like that happened. I like theatre, I like doing theatre because I can become something else, not the selfish asshole I am.

I was supposed to go to IIM-B, but, the stupid plaster on my leg, my team is not taking me, I havent ever participated in anything, if I have never won it. I havent ever won anything in life, I feel as if I am a waste investment. My birth givers invest money in me, and all I do is lose, again and again. No, I dont want to think this shit, but when a lot of bad stuff happens, you tend to think like that. I am still hopeful and I am still working hard to achieve, I know deep inside I am going to.

At this point of time I am thinking of her, I call her ‘Madame’ does it matter, I dont think so, but when you like someone, you know you got something in life, so I might hang on to her for some more time.

I am sorry, I am really sorry, things havent been going fine lately, and I just want to talk, so I talk to you guys, I do call people up and ask how things are, if things arent right with them, I sit there, I sit till they stop crying and smile, I dont want anyone doing that to me, just a little care, just wishing me morning with a nice smiley, it will do wonders for me,  I like small things in life, and I want small things in life which make me happy.
So Aliens, if you are reading this, you know more about me now, and if you want to make a contact, contact me, you know where I am.



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