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Another opportunity gone down the drain. January 25, 2012

Posted by itsmeaditya in Uncategorized.
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Well, things have been actually really down lately. I am so sorry to my readers ( if they exist), I really am, I got lot to talk but no one to talk to, and thats why I made this blog. Hi I am Aditya a 19 year old boy, struggling like everyone else to know who he is, what he is,  I got a lot of questions and no answers, they say nice guys finish last, I think thats true.

Anyway, so around 2 weeks back I fell down the stairs of my hostel,  and I broke my ankle, plaster for 3 weeks, its fine, some cared some didnt, not a problem. Okay so here is the thing, I like a girl, its more than that, and the crush is from my side, I mean come on who will like me, yes I have some issues, but no one actually knows it, so I asked this girl if she wants to leave a message on plaster, everyone does that right, but this girl, she is like ‘Nope’. Thats all she said, and I felt bad, I have been feeling bad, but again its fine. I see my friends, class mates, college mates, everyone getting a lot of opportunities, everyone doing a lot of things, some are getting committed, and I see their happy faces, its kinda gay, but it is good. Few of my closest friends are doing really good, one of them is becoming responsible, feels good to know that, another one is going out to different colleges, winning, feels good, but after sometime, when I close my eyes I see me, its all black and I am standing under a spotlight. Blank expressions, nothing, and I feel nothing, and then I think, I got everything, but I dont have anything. I just want to feel how it feels to be victorious, how it feels when people look up to you, and I have been trying my best to do that, but something or the other, BAM, stops me. This time something like that happened. I like theatre, I like doing theatre because I can become something else, not the selfish asshole I am.

I was supposed to go to IIM-B, but, the stupid plaster on my leg, my team is not taking me, I havent ever participated in anything, if I have never won it. I havent ever won anything in life, I feel as if I am a waste investment. My birth givers invest money in me, and all I do is lose, again and again. No, I dont want to think this shit, but when a lot of bad stuff happens, you tend to think like that. I am still hopeful and I am still working hard to achieve, I know deep inside I am going to.

At this point of time I am thinking of her, I call her ‘Madame’ does it matter, I dont think so, but when you like someone, you know you got something in life, so I might hang on to her for some more time.

I am sorry, I am really sorry, things havent been going fine lately, and I just want to talk, so I talk to you guys, I do call people up and ask how things are, if things arent right with them, I sit there, I sit till they stop crying and smile, I dont want anyone doing that to me, just a little care, just wishing me morning with a nice smiley, it will do wonders for me,  I like small things in life, and I want small things in life which make me happy.
So Aliens, if you are reading this, you know more about me now, and if you want to make a contact, contact me, you know where I am.
Bye.

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Odd day November 17, 2011

Posted by itsmeaditya in Uncategorized.
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Well, i woke up late, missed the first hour of college, got in trouble for just reading a business newspaper, and apparently that is such a big crime in this university, that they are threatening me to detain in the second semester. Thats pretty fucked up shit aint it ?

Anyway, i got interested into stocks, so i am well trying my best to win it, but yeah, its me, lost it, pretty much upset about it, if you have been reading my posts aliens, you might have noticed, how badly i want to win things, but when i lose something, i get upset, thats well one negative point in me, and plus the crap i had in the class today, upset, not cool right ?

It sucks, i am out with a bunch of friends, not talking to anyone, my coffee is getting cold, i feel like shit. It sucks, dont want this to happen, but anyway, what can i do ! Cant write some stuff here, aliens might get offended, well i am getting pretty famous in the university, and this incident kind of made me more famous and infamous as well, anyway it doesnt matters that much. I seriously wish things should get fine soon, i guess, after a few days  i will be fine !

I am so sorry aliens, i have been posting personal stuff for some time , but soon you will get to know cool stuff, i will start updating about stocks and other stuff too !
yeah thats right, you can learn about earthlings easily.

Anyway, i gotta do other stuff, will blog later. Adios amigo. (Yup thats spanish for friend) Aliens are my friends. 🙂

Priori Incantatem November 12, 2011

Posted by itsmeaditya in Uncategorized.
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Ahoy to all my alien readers, been pretty long since i updated this blog. I am not talking about wizards and witches fighting over here, well its about my life. This is going to be boring, but besides its fun, no one is going to read it and i can channel my feelings properly, woah i feel like a psychologist. Anyway, my past life in Delhi is clashing with my present life in Bangalore. Yes my dear readers, i am in bangalore now, and i am studying business management, in other words i joined the rat race. Things have been going fine for sometime, but me and my dependency issues, well they seem to make a lot of problem, made some friends here, but i do kinda miss my homies back there in the capital city. I love them actually, and recently not talking to them is bringing me down, i cant put other details over here, you know aliens, they can do anything!
I am too distracted, right? Seriously, there is no link, no sense being made out here, but anyway aliens like reading this.
I seriously miss falling in love, or loving someone, you see, every time i try to woo someone, its just a matter of time, before everything goes haywire, or something or the other happens. Even my birth giver told me that i need to have a female friend who will actually care for me, so i can be a better person, i didnt believe this at that time, but seeing my condition i think she is right, but whom should i woo ? I think, having a special friend is better than being in a relation, i think i have that special friend, but you know different humans, different perceptions, different cities, huge distances, it sucks. Anxiety, anger, frustration is the result of this, so i neither can be relation nor have a special friend, either way i am gonna end up getting angry, and yeah i have to join anger management classes, the other day, i shouted at some poor girl because she didnt do what i specifically told her to do, and we ended up losing points in some game, i apologized, but still, i need to control my anger, and my ADD too, i think i get distracted too easily.
I am at this new university, working my way up, being good to everyone, studying, i moved into a hostel, washing my clothes, looking after my stuff, but there is something missing from this new life of mine, and that is that person with whom i want to be, with whom i can share stuff, and that person has to be a female, with long hair, well a good looking female though with brains and a heart. You see i hate having feelings, but since god gave it them to me, i cant do anything, i somehow have to find my way through humans, to find that person who is like me, its kinda difficult. I feel good about the fact that i am washing my clothes, its like washing dirt out of my life, i mean i am serious, washing clothes is making me feel happy, but you know what would make me more happy, a comfortable couch, a big pepperoni pizza, a bottle of god father beer, and my bro Pulkit, well i dont mind putting his name over here, because he is my bro, and he has been with me for quite some time, he is committed now, i am happy, i love him. 🙂
Infact everyone i know is committed, its like a disease, which is spreading pretty fast, and this makes me think, what of me ? Is there someone, who can actually be my girlfriend, accepting my eccentricity, i dont know if it ever can happen or not, but this all is too confusing.
Anyway my fellow aliens, i have to go, gotta read some business articles and review them 🙂
Arriverdeci . ( Thats italian for bye, i learnt this from a game, i got half of my knowledge from playing video games, to all the alien mothers out there, please let your alien children play games, they will get intelligent then, and then they can save our galaxy) O_O
I apologize for my ADD problem, anyway bye, take care, and yeah, if anyone actually reads this, just respond, it feels good, when someone actually read what i write, bye!

Been a downhill for quite sometime January 4, 2011

Posted by itsmeaditya in Uncategorized.
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Listening to amazing by Aerosmith. Nice song. This song has one phrase ‘there were times in my life when i was going insane’, well it’s happening with me now. It has been a downhill for me, for more like a year. These days somehow, i am becoming emotionally null. Had been a long time, since i had a nice heartful laugh. Got daily sitcoms and south park of course that has made me laugh, but you know that laugh, that surges from your heart to your mouth, making your lips wide and eyes squint, it has been ages. My brother Hari, well his autism comes up in various forms, that some times make my smile and sometimes make me think, what he is going to do, how would he do it. Life, so uncertain. I have started to get paranoid again, about family, my self. I usually imagine my self in a situation where i have lost everything, and then there comes one point where i cant imagine more, and then thats the point, which brings up some hope inside me. I am updating my blog after a long time. I am just writing whatever is coming up in my mind, lately i have been having a lot of fights. Pulkit told me that i got hell lot of crap inside my brain, and i guess he is right. He told me to meditate, but then hey its me Aditya, the procrastinator, thinking of studying for long hours, but they all just remain a thought. Anyway, the last few days, i have not been well, since the outing i had with a few of my friends to CP, i got ill, my stomach hasnt been so well, maybe that can be the reason of this depression, also its not just about my health, its about everything. I have a huge interest in gaming, especially FPS gaming. So there is this game called warrock, really interesting, i was some how good in it, but these last days, downhill, that was something, that gave me some kind of satisfaction, some kind of happiness what so ever, but no, it never happens. I just hope that something happens, i wake up tomorrow, and study for 6 hours atleast(well thats tough, but i got to do it). I met this girl, on my coaching class, and man she was something. Perfect in everything, and then i started thinking what exactly went wrong with me, finally i realized its just not you. Sometimes its never your mistake, you have to go wrong, you  have to take shit, you have to atleast be in an abyss, to shoot out like a star. I dont know if this is going to be true in my case or not. My dad, well he is not supportive at all, well i am glad i didnt get any of the behavioral  traits of him, i am happy. Mom has been really supportive, and my brother Hari is always there, sometimes i just  imagine, what if he was a normal boy, how my life would have turned out. I am happy Hari is  my brother. :]

It feels good to write things out. http://www.collegehumor.com [this site is one site which has kept me going, i love it] and i love south park creators , they did an awesome job. I love parodys. All my posts were related to something or the another but this one is just about me, so i dont think many of the readers would like it, it doesnt matter does it. I have just poured out my feelings. I actually got no one to talk to, so i am doing this. This whole post, is in a disorganized manner[just like me]. Well its great i poured something out, so much is left inside, i seriously want to get into Shaheed Sukhdev College of Business Studies. This is one thing that could change my life forever. I am really psyched about it, hope it all goes well. I am working hard, hope it pays off.

Adios amigos ! will post regularly from now on.

PS : Aliens read my blog 😛

Aditya [Temp noob]

We all run for only one thing and that is Mating! xp February 10, 2010

Posted by itsmeaditya in Uncategorized.
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Okay me and Pulkit were just discussing about life and we came to the conclusion that we all humans run after one thing that is sex! i know many of you may be disapproving this but we have a somewhat a valid or a lame reason for it!

We go to a good school so that we get good education

We study hard so that we get into a good university

we groom ourselves

do everything

why?

to become successful! and after becoming successful then to do what?

get married!

and after getting married we mate! 😛 so it ends on mating! 😛 and begins on mating!

Hence proved

The above thought process was the outcome of the mind boggling session of two geniuses Aditya and Pulkit! xD